103

(Apologies if this is a bit disjointed; I was out-of-town when I started writing it…)

They’re back in the studio for the first time in a long time.

Discussions of Cape May, which is in New Jersey.

Discussion what a cape is geologically.

Cape goes to a discussion of bathroom activities.

Chris is going out to perform with Robbie The Fire soon. (It sounds like Robbie is coming to the show I’m pencilling in in Arlington.)

Chris watches a lot of South Park when he’s in a hotel. (I’m actually writing this in a hotel room right now. I haven’t even turned on the TV. This is the fourth night I’ve been here, and I’m checking out in a few hours)

Tucker Carlson would beat Joey Bidness in a TV death.

Tucker Carlson’s bowtie endorsements must be worth millions.

Tucker probably doesn’t;’t own cool stuff because he’s the biggest dork in the world.

Tucker Carlson would not be a good president. (Trump, for all the things that sucked about him, does have experience running stuff…)

Discussion of Tucker’s daughter, Hopie. (Sorry…not doing anything for me….but I’m also old enough to be her dad.)

Discussion of previous presidential candidates for whom Chris and Mike have voted.

Evander Holyfield boxed Willard M. Romney, and took a dive for him.

The whoring twenties summer is on hold again because monkeypox.

Race Horse doesn’t like the term, “monkeypox.”

A doctor giving a kid puberty blockers is not grooming.

There’s people who are grooming young kids to get monkeypox.

Mike would rather watch SNL over South Park.

Chapelle is playing football stadiums; this is a sign that he’s gotten too big.

If you call someone a groomer, you’re probably a Boomer asshole.

Instead of “groomer,” you should use the term Pedo. (which made me think of Pedobear.)

John Bolton is evil.

Mike didn’t know that Venezuela has a lot of oil.

Chris and Mike want to go to Venezuela.

Discussion of Trump text messages on January 6th.

Chris wants to write a play about January 6th. Musical-style. Like Little Shop of Horrors. (Who plays Ray Epps?)

AOC thinks asking for a pardon means that you’ve committed a crime.

Discussion of presidential succession order.

The crack epidemic was to fund more wars in third world countries with CIA planning.

Mars Attacks would have been more interesting if the plot was to kill all of Congress.

Mikey liked Cuba. (They don’t show what’s going on to western tourists. And, no, they’re not all fucked up because of the US embargo. They’re fucked up because of Communism. The Canucks and Mexicans can trade with them without restrictions. They don’t send much. Why? I don’t know, because the Communist goons steal their shit, maybe? Hey, Chris, with your connections, maybe you can find out why the Italian Americans really, really, really don’t like the Castros….)

Ther’s a lot of overlap between the countries that read the most news, and the countries who thick the world is ending. (*mumbles something about having extended family who watch nothing but MSNBC< and are completely unbearable*)

Just give it up. Get dumber.

9/11 was way worse than January 6th.

COVID was rough because our governments are retardedly incompetent.

If you delete your social media accounts, Jesus will turn your oars into fish.

Mike thinks there’s not been a president in his lifetime you can respect.

The “H” in George H.W. Bush stans for Herschedl.

People don’t like Obama because he was doing “mad drone bombings.”

Mike was in eighth grade when 9/11 happened. (Trying to think what happened when I was in eighth grade….fall of the Soviet Union?)

FDR invented red-lining

Because Obama was cool black guy, people forgot that his country is evil. (I’ll take issue with him being cool…I remember him wearing a f’n White Sox cap with a Nationals jacket while free-throwing the first pitch…while wearing mom jeans)

Discussion of AOC’s arrest at an abortion protest…where she wasn’t handcuffed, but posed with her hands behind her back so that people would think she was.

AOC’s photo op was the opposite of Reagan.

There’s been a few hot Hispanic women who’ve been winning at politics lately.

Chris and Bronx Johnnie want to interview a handsome politician from Queens — Wlll you open a Pagoda with Bronx Johnnie?

It would be political suicide to run against AOC.

If Brewster’s Millions was made today, you’d waste all your money paying people to come on a podcast.

People in AOC’s district normally don’t live past age 30.

The guy from YoCratum could fund Bronx Johnnie’s campaign.

AOC brings in money just because she’s attactive, has an OnlyFans account.

DeBlasio got blown out of the water in his attempt at a Congressional run.

Chris is gonna shit on MTG next week.

Discussion of preachers who wear flashy jewelry. There was a guy in a poor community in Brooklyn who got held up during a service for his bling. He runs a for profit mentorship program.

If you’re not teaching kids in your mentorship how to cut drugs, you’re a groomer.

If you see a blinged-out preacher on Facebook Live, you can Google the address, and go rob him during the service.

Ukraine had a program to get Russian pilots to defect.

There was an agreement to have one of the defectors’ wives out first before the defection. He changed his mind before, and said “take my super-hot girlfriend.” The girlfriend was a Russian plant.

The Ukranian Nazis are probably running a train on the hot Russian spy, now.

The Ukrainians probably thought up fake secrets to share with the hot chick.

I’m going to try had to go see Chris and Rob in Arlington.